How far does respect go?

Dick, Jeanne and Ellie have all either stated or implied that respect is a key value -- Ellie is explicit about it, Jeanne implies respect for other people's gods, and Dick's non-absolute right-and-wrong also implies respecting what other peole are valuing.

At a gut level, this seems right to me. And yet, I need something more.

What happens to respect when it comes face to face with those who don't feel the same way, for example, evangelical Christians who do not respect my god, or lack of one? I say, "I respect that you have come to a different conclusion from me, or that your values spring from a different source." They say, "I will not rest until you have been saved." If it's simply another citizen speaking, then I guess I can turn the other cheek, as it were, and we can each go on our way. But now it is clear that government is infused with the evangelical spirit, if you will. "My God says this is the right way to do things, and I am going to make laws enacting that right way."

Is the answer, "that is a profoundly disrespectful law"? That law denies the basic humanity of individuals by imposing one group's notion of right-and-wrong on another? But aren't all laws, by their nature, imposing one person's view of the Good Life on another? If I want stricter gun control, aren't I being disrespectful of gun-owners?

Don't get me wrong - I'm a good lawyer. I can make the argument that owning and using guns is profoundly disrespectful of human life, peace, etc. But I (or someone else) can make (has made) the argument that gay marriage is profoundly disrespectful of their sincerely held belief about what constitutes marriage. Or, more clearly, that abortion is profoundly disrespectful of inicipient human life.

I know that there are other values that come into play, or deeper understandings of what we mean by respect, in order to support my beliefs. So, for example, I believe that true respect for women means acknowledging their inherent and unique moral authority to make what is always a difficult decision about the life within them.

On gay marriage, though, I think in some ways it comes down to feeling more "right" about the equality principle than about the definition-of-marriage-is-a-man-and-a-woman principle. At a basic level, I think the opposition to gay marriage comes down to the "ewww" factor, and should therefore be dismissed. But in saying that, am I not being disrespectful of somebody else's belief system?

In a similar vein, what happens to the values of pacifism and anti-violence in the face of attacks on you or those close to you?